I have to wonder if there is a paradigm on what makes one a submissive?
I’m thinking the first thought to enter one’s mind if they have no previous knowledge of BDSM is that submissives tend to fall into the demure and quiet category. Ever helpful and ready to please. Often naked kneeling at the door in their beautiful body waiting for when their gorgeous dominant comes home. Dinner on the table and house spotlessly cleaned.
And that might be true.
It also might not be even close.
So give me a moment to round out this picture of who and what a submissive can be.
Let’s start with the basics – the person more so than the submissive.
They can have a PhD. They can be attorney’s, masseuse’s, teachers. They could be in construction or serving our country in any of the armed forces. Many probably enjoy hunting or marathons more so than shopping sprees or getting a manicure.
Some are obese and some anorexic. Many have acne and frizzy hair. Others have breasts that are more fascinated with their belly buttons than they should be and grow closer every day. There are those with freckles and those with protruding noses. They could have been raised by alcoholics/drug addicts or hippies just as well as having been brought up in the Brady Bunch.
They could be suffering from multiple sclerosis or in a wheelchair. Several are on medication for being bipolar or some other mental/physical condition. They could be battling cancer.
Too many are into drama and enjoy dishing out rumors or dirt on others.
Some like a Daddy figure and others beg for their blood to be drawn by the sadist they worship.
Some have bad knees so cannot be waiting on the floor for their owner to return from where ever they were.
These people range from 18 to older than your grandmother’s mother and might or might not have a high school education.
What a picture, huh?
So let’s look at the submissive side now.
Plenty enjoy serving others – no matter the other’s role in BDSM. Meaning they will serve another submissive or slave because they enjoy it. There are quite a few that have sex as a hard limit while as many others enjoy things so taboo, they won’t even tell another person in BDSM.
There are some who are told what to wear no matter if they stay home or go to work. They are told what to do for the day as well as what is expected to be made for all meals. Some are not allowed makeup and some aren’t allowed hair. They have every moment of their lives planned for them and bask in the control exerted over them while others are left to their own on clothing choice as well as meals.
When at a BDSM event they look everyone directly in the eyes and reply with their comments – which, very well, might be in strong disagreement with what a dominant states. They could be sitting at the feet of a Master, on their owner’s lap or in their own chair. They might enjoy being petted or being used as a table or even an ashtray. There are those that need the sensual feel of hands while others get off on the roughness of a fist.
Some enjoy submitting to one while others play with whomever. Being denied pleasure can be as important to one just as simply cleaning the house completes them.
They can be mouthy, bratty, meek, or flirty.
They could thrive on fear, mind fucks, asphyxiation, gang bangs, and/or puppy/pony/etc play. Some get wet when you show them knives, some when you pull their hair.
Do you get it how I could go on and on? That there is no right or wrong to what a submissive is – any more than what a dominant is or any other label one has?
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