I hope you enjoyed last week’s introduction into the mind of Simon Blaise but that small amount really only touched the surface behind this amazing person and I just couldn’t leave off without going deeper so, sit back and be amazed as we continue with our interview!
How long have you been in the scene?
Simon: I really dislike the confusing nature of that question because many ask such a question under the assumed premise that a higher number of years means more skill, experience and magically kinky superpowers. Honestly, a better question is, “how passionate do you let yourself become in the dungeon?” and “have you put anyone in the emergency room lately?”.
We have all seen someone in the community live the same year 15 times over and over again. When those people who maintain extended periods of spiritual status quo with no exploration, experimentation or questioning of kink, that can really confuse some people – especially if the person asking is new to BDSM.
With that said, I feel comfortable answering the question now. After the Marines, College, and Law School, I started attending public kinkysexual functions in 2006. 12 years before 2006, I accepted a mentorship type arrangement and learned from a really cool lady in Hawaii. Three years after my mentorship ended, I returned stateside in 1997. My kinkysexual lifestyle continued in the shadows of the private sector of message groups, AOL chatrooms, dark alleys, telephone hookup services, mountain ranges, deserts, abandoned warehouses and even an abandoned van along the coast in Mexico overlooking the ocean. Generally keeping to myself socially and serving the community when and where I can through presentations, has made it possible for me to say my life has been a confection of different ways to be kinky in many different places and situations where I want to make some orgasms and altered head spaces happen. I lived the same year over and over in terms of BDSM for about five years as I was obsessively studying other stuff like philosophy, politics, and law, so altogether, my earnest adult time in BDSM, that actually matters is about 10-15 adult years’ worth of dedication to my own personal practice of BDSM.
What do you identify as? (top, bottom, switch, etc)
Simon: I identify as a kinkysexual. The reason I chose that label is because there were no other labels that allowed for growth, exploration, and evolution. It’s a label that ends all labels for me personally. One day if I feel like ravishing and dominating someone, I’ll get kinky that way. Another day, when I feel like being ravished and dominated by someone else, I totally get down that way. And the best part is that no one can get upset and say I’m not being true, or that I’m confused (we all are to some degree) when they see me coloring outside the BDSM lines while I’m yelling out the window “being kinky ain’t no thang”.
What drew you to BDSM?
I read a book “Everything You Wanted to Know About Sex” published in 1969 when I was 12 after finding it in a trash box at a swap meet. The book proclaimed how wrong and evil people were who engaged in S&M truly are (which is why some older LGBTQ folks prefer ‘SM’ to ‘S&M’ as the religious right in the 60s, 70s, and 80s used ‘S&M’ in their hateful campaign against our ancestors). And even as a child, my heart told me that people fear and get excited about only the actual things they truly wish they could do (do as I say, not as I do, I heard a lot), but deny themselves such happiness because they were told an invisible human-like deity responsible for creating the earth, heavens, but not the rest of the known and unknown expanse beyond our planet, did not approve. To the book’s credit, it also went into in-depth detail describing how the human body and mind work sexually that laid the foundation for my own personal BDSM practice. Thanks to that book, and a number of books that came afterwards, at 16 I was spanking, tying up my girlfriends to my weight bench with neck ties I purchased from thrift stores, and getting into water sports. No one else in my high school could do the things I could do to women, so like Easy E said in a song, “Now I’m fucking all your friends cuz you ran your mouth like I knew you would”, I quickly learned that BDSM was the quickest way to get the hottest women on your weight bench. So in all honesty, what drew me to BDSM was the feeling that I needed to supplement my sex with BDSM and orgasm training if a woman was ever going to be interested in being with me sexually or in a relationship. So in all honesty, it was my own feelings of inadequacy as a person that moved me to study BDSM and how the female mind and body works. In time, I developed as an adult and now I have a little more to offer someone than BDSM or inconceivable levels of physical and spiritual pleasure – like jokes, kindness, mad culinary skills, authenticity, honesty, compassion and decent conversation.
Thank you, Simon! I believe you to be an amazing person and appreciate the time you’ve spent on this interview.
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